Last night...all of a sudden- my mood went to shit...absolute shit. I wanted a pretzel from the mall but the last time I had one of those- it was during a binge so I had that knee jerk reaction where it was like do i want it? Yes, wait no, yes, no, yes no, yes no. IT WAS A FUCKIN PRETZEL- it shouldn't be this fucking hard...
so, thus my mood went to shit and I got really awkwardly homesick. I missed my mom, Nancy and Amy and my friends in Atl. It was weird to miss my mom, not my friends- i knew that'd happen... Now missing Nancy and Amy- took a toll on me as well- a HUGE toll. I felt like shit...
one of my friends said that she told her therapist that she wanted to be her...that's how I feel about Nancy. Amy, my relationship with Amy was different, much more healthy...
I donno- the feeling from last night was awkwardly comforting because it was all too familiar...I feel better today- as of now anyway
xoxo -Lisa
so, thus my mood went to shit and I got really awkwardly homesick. I missed my mom, Nancy and Amy and my friends in Atl. It was weird to miss my mom, not my friends- i knew that'd happen... Now missing Nancy and Amy- took a toll on me as well- a HUGE toll. I felt like shit...
one of my friends said that she told her therapist that she wanted to be her...that's how I feel about Nancy. Amy, my relationship with Amy was different, much more healthy...
I donno- the feeling from last night was awkwardly comforting because it was all too familiar...I feel better today- as of now anyway
xoxo -Lisa
I HATE that in between feeling where you're like... to binge, or not to binge?
ReplyDeleteIm sorry you had one of those shit ED nights, it can zap the best mood out of anyone, what did you do, did you get the pretzel? that could have been one of those fuck you ED moments, I know its hard when that feeling of "this could lead to a binge" moments come on, I hope you are in a better place today and that it stays that way, I too know that feeling of maybe feeling to close to your T, but if they are a good T they know how to put up boundries, Im sorry this has been so hard for you and Im sorry I missed your text last night, I was sleeping ( time difference), take good care today, okay? you deserve it!!
ReplyDeleteLove, Tara
Oh gosh I know that feeling, I have that feeling coming on right now. I hate how it gets stronger and stronger. Anyway sorry you felt bad last night, and I'm glad you are feeling a little better now.
ReplyDeletexxx
I'm glad you're feeling better today. I'm sorry that you felt like shit last night and it sucks. You're right, a pretzel should NOT be that hard, or any food for that matter.
ReplyDelete