Exactly 365 days ago...

I was randomly scrolling through my blog looking for something and instead found something from this entry on my blog (it’s below as well)  --- I have gone through and crossed out what is no longer true and what is now different is in bold. Life has changed a lot and yet not that much and time has also gone by surprisingly fast.
365 days ago, I wrote...

" Last year TWO YEARS AGO around this time- I was enrolled in graduate school, living in Atlanta, numb, anorexic, engaging in risky behavior among other things.

Today- I am packed to head off to Madison, WI to go visit laying in my bed alone on a Friday night and being 98.65% okay with it., working part time a full time student, looking into ACTUALLY getting my masters in secondary education, in eating disorder recovery and my mood is incredibly more stable. For a long time, I wanted to do and achieve everything on my own because people and relationships are ephemeral. Yet, I've realized that without people in my life- it's bland, boring, lonely and I can only get so far in recovery. I have an incredibly amount of support in my life right now- sometimes more accountability that I'd like...well, my eating disorder would like but at the same time- it keeps me on track.

My role in life- mostly my own and hopefully in others as well has changed. I'm no longer playing the sick one. I am playing a friend, daughter, girlfriend someone who has learned to love herself, cat mother ( haha... don't judge ). Part of this has helped me grow and recover.  Realizing I am other things have motivated me and given me confidence that I can do other things as well.

Chicago sunset taken by me on 5/11/14

Lately, I have had this feeling that with time- things will be okay things ARE okay. Part of this is frustrating because I am wondering why and when will things might change and not be that okay, the okay that I’ve faught so hard for. I've also realized- that right now- I am okay and will be no matter what. This okay feeling will just has continued. Things will never be picture perfect and I don't expect it to be that way- all I want is to someday be okay...and I know I will be."

It’s been 365 days- things have changed a lot more than what I can write down here and yet, things haven’t changed that much at all and for once- that is a good thing. I was in a good place on May 16, 2013 and you know what? It is May 16, 2014 and I am still in a good place. This is the first time I’ve ever been able to say - That ONE YEAR later, I am still in a good place. 

WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IS THAT –one very important role in my life has not changed- I AM STILL NO LONGER PLAYING THE SICK ONE- however, other roles in my life have changed - and relationships have changed as well. I have loved and lost a serious relationship but I've built a love for myself instead. I have changed boyfriends ( the current one is a bit elusive to say the least hah. Joke? Did anyone get it? ) , therapists, apartments and friendships have somewhat changed. I still live in the gorgeous city of Chicago and I'm finally learning my way around (1 year later..) and where the beautiful spots by the lake are.