So, this goes without saying- you are not a tree- neither am I. You're probably thinking "No fucking way". Trees are stuck to the ground. Wherever their little teeny seed was thrown/planted/migrated/whatever i'm not a botany major. Trees can't move ( DUH ) so if something around them isn't helping it grow and become the wonderfully beautiful creature ( plant whatever ) that it is... it's fucked. SOL.
Since I am not a tree, I am not fucked ( contrary to what I tend to think ) and I can move. However, I have a bad habit of just picking up and moving ( geographically or just quitting ) when things get rough. Let's be real for a moment- run away- that's what I tend to do- run- far far far away. One way I see it is well...I don't like where I am- so well I guess I'm going to pack up my bags and get as far a-fucking-way as possible. Sometimes I think "Well, this obviously isn't working, time to try something else" -which actually makes a lot of sense and can be used quite effectively...AND I tend to spin that my own way. I'm very good at manipulating myself- better than I can be manipulated by others.
I will move but I will not run away this time. Running away has gotten me no where. I'm right back where I started- wait, I don't know where I started- well- I'm not back in China where I guess technically I was started. Okay, so geographically and literally- I'm not back where I started but y'all catch my drift. Right.
I'm so sick of trying to control everything. I just want to be. I want to be but I don't want to settle. If I were a tree- i'd be settling.
I am not a fucking tree. I will not settle.
Frankly though, I'm so sick of fighting so hard to NOT settle. I just want to be. I just want some peace and silence in this brain of mine.
xoxo -Lisa
Since I am not a tree, I am not fucked ( contrary to what I tend to think ) and I can move. However, I have a bad habit of just picking up and moving ( geographically or just quitting ) when things get rough. Let's be real for a moment- run away- that's what I tend to do- run- far far far away. One way I see it is well...I don't like where I am- so well I guess I'm going to pack up my bags and get as far a-fucking-way as possible. Sometimes I think "Well, this obviously isn't working, time to try something else" -which actually makes a lot of sense and can be used quite effectively...AND I tend to spin that my own way. I'm very good at manipulating myself- better than I can be manipulated by others.I will move but I will not run away this time. Running away has gotten me no where. I'm right back where I started- wait, I don't know where I started- well- I'm not back in China where I guess technically I was started. Okay, so geographically and literally- I'm not back where I started but y'all catch my drift. Right.
I'm so sick of trying to control everything. I just want to be. I want to be but I don't want to settle. If I were a tree- i'd be settling.
I am not a fucking tree. I will not settle.
Frankly though, I'm so sick of fighting so hard to NOT settle. I just want to be. I just want some peace and silence in this brain of mine.
xoxo -Lisa
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