I just found this randomly on an unpublished post I had written- this as written about 2 months ago.
[It seems strange that there are so many things that I just forget / don't think about and then they randomly pop up into my head. My head is all over the place and I've been trying to just muffle it all out with binging on tv shows on netflix/hulu or just other places where I can watch them.
School has started and that means I have a lot of things that I should be doing/reading and yet- I just can't bring myself to full do any of it. I don't want to is part of the problem. I'm tired and just want to sleep for months. Who is to say I'm not suicidal anymore? I've just resigned to needing to live for others. Nothing for myself- I don't know why I would live for myself- still. Not sure. ]
and that last sentence has rang true for ... as long as I can remember and the more people I lose in my life- the less I feel I need to stay okay for.
xoxo -Lisa
[It seems strange that there are so many things that I just forget / don't think about and then they randomly pop up into my head. My head is all over the place and I've been trying to just muffle it all out with binging on tv shows on netflix/hulu or just other places where I can watch them.
School has started and that means I have a lot of things that I should be doing/reading and yet- I just can't bring myself to full do any of it. I don't want to is part of the problem. I'm tired and just want to sleep for months. Who is to say I'm not suicidal anymore? I've just resigned to needing to live for others. Nothing for myself- I don't know why I would live for myself- still. Not sure. ]
and that last sentence has rang true for ... as long as I can remember and the more people I lose in my life- the less I feel I need to stay okay for.
xoxo -Lisa
No comments:
Post a Comment