"Bear in mind you have a life to live. There is an incredible loss. There is a profound grief. And there is, in the end, after a long time and more work than you ever thought possible, a time when it gets easier." -Marya Hornbacher

Monday, February 3, 2014

It's not the first time

This isn't the first time i have had a relationship fail. however, it i the first time that i was coaxed into trusting to not believe my gut and believe that people can change and grow up- that they aren't always what they were in the past. i still do believe that. Just no longer in my particular situation.

Everything you promised you wouldn't do again- well- almost identically- it's happening and I can't even bring myself to resent you for it. fuck me.

Just for those of you that are worried, i'm safe, I'm fine- whatever, I'm not planning on jumping in front of a train-I am however happy that they are replacing the old dominic's at DePaul with a whole foods. Random? Sorry- that's how my mind goes.  But right now- I wish I could be angry but I can't. And I'm sick of crying myself to sleep every damn night. FUCKING SICK OF IT. and if my parents happen to be reading this for some reason  ( which I hope they haven't found this blog but who knows)- going home- moving home for a bit- how is that going to help? I'll just fall asleep crying in Indiana where I have no support other than family instead of Chicago where I have way more friends than I originally thought.

 xoxo -Lisa

No comments:

Post a Comment

"Feeling are ephemeral, so is life. We’re here one moment and we’re gone the next. If you keep living trying to protect yourself, nothing is every going to touch you."