As my last post obviously stated , my posts have been far and inbetween but I've been thinking of posting more. I've been struggling right now and I am wondering if blogging again might help.
I had a family member passed the day after Christmas. That was in a way, the one thing that pushed me into a rut. It wasn't just that but that was a definite trigger point. I knew that something had been off kilter for a while. It took me a while to bring it up with my therapist because I didn't know WHY. My therapist was my family therapist at Timberline Knolls, she now has her own private practice. I am truly blessed to have her as a therapist. How many individual therapists have both seen you individually, understands my family system and has seen me interact with groups of people. Answer: not many. But, I always want to now WHY. WHY AM I LIKE THIS? WHY AM I STRUGGLING TODAY? WHY DID I HAVE A LAPSE? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? However, this quote below by the poet Rainer Maria Rilke.
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your
heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and
like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now
seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be
able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the
questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it,
live along some distant day into the answer.”
So, just keep doing swimming /walking and living because someday- things will fall into place and you'll find those answers.
This ....episode? lapse? I don't know what to call it has been the most similar to how I felt before TK. YET, I know that I will pull through it. It's such a diabolical issue to me.
xoxo -Lisa
I had a family member passed the day after Christmas. That was in a way, the one thing that pushed me into a rut. It wasn't just that but that was a definite trigger point. I knew that something had been off kilter for a while. It took me a while to bring it up with my therapist because I didn't know WHY. My therapist was my family therapist at Timberline Knolls, she now has her own private practice. I am truly blessed to have her as a therapist. How many individual therapists have both seen you individually, understands my family system and has seen me interact with groups of people. Answer: not many. But, I always want to now WHY. WHY AM I LIKE THIS? WHY AM I STRUGGLING TODAY? WHY DID I HAVE A LAPSE? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? However, this quote below by the poet Rainer Maria Rilke.
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your
heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and
like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now
seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be
able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the
questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it,
live along some distant day into the answer.” So, just keep doing swimming /walking and living because someday- things will fall into place and you'll find those answers.
This ....episode? lapse? I don't know what to call it has been the most similar to how I felt before TK. YET, I know that I will pull through it. It's such a diabolical issue to me.
xoxo -Lisa
She gave me that quote, too. I love it. and I love you. You may have felt the same before TK, but it isn't the same. Your life is not the same. You are not the same. You'll get through this. We all will. xxx
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ReplyDeleteGotta lotta
ReplyDeleteextraordinary
exponential
exactly.
Wannum??