So... today was one hell of a long freaking day. I started groups today at 9 AM. AND I started with art therapy...which I will say... I LOVED at TK. LOVED LOVED LOVED. Well...guess what? I am not a fan of the art therapy here... it's too structured. As soon as I checked out with that feeling, the art therapist asked if I came from TK. lol. I guess that a lot of former TK residents feel the same way.
I just also wanted to say...I miss my fellow BWOWs... ( beautiful women of willow ), even if the lodge was a bit ...okay A LOT crazy when I left...there are a few current residents and a lot of past residents that I would defintely say are my TK sisters...that I miss a ton. My "best bitches" :D
Also, I am meeting with my care coordinator tomorrow and I'm going to present my case for moving down to IOP either Friday ( if possible ) or next week. I already talked to my therapist who talked to my care coordinator to make her aware of how I was feeling. I do not feel like this level of care with some of the women that are in that same level of care...is helping me. I feel like it's actually making things worse.
I knew I had learned a lot of things at TK- what I realized today was JUST HOW MUCH I learned at TK. I learned a hell of a lot and I honestly can say that my treatment team played a giant part in it. I do not feel like I'm getting jackshit out of any of the groups. I had empowerment today...and it was boring as fuck. I'd rather be in IOP- see my therapist 2x a week and get a fucking job and figure out how to take some classes until I can apply for graduate school next fall or something. In PHP, I don't get out until 5:30- most offices are closed by then. I'd rather give IOP a shot an if it doesn't work out- I can always go back up to PHP.
I just really need to fucking integrate myself back into society. I'm ready to move on- to leave the world of treatment behind and focus on how I can help others.
xoxo -Lisa
I totally get this. It sucks going into PHP after inpatient/residential because there are girls there that are just starting their treatment...and coming out of residential, you know SO MUCH about yourself and about recovery. I think IOP is a good idea, because you're right, you can always go back. Maybe in addition to your therapist you could go to ANAD or EDA sometimes. I know that's helped for a lot of my treatment friends...I personally didn't really like them though. Do what you feel is right for you, you know better than anyone else. Just make sure your WISE MIND is making those decisions. You learned a lot, now you get to use it. It's so hard, but I have faith in you, and I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you learned alot at TK. (I also love the necklace by the way.} Do not let your current situation drag you back down. Stay strong and I hope your meeting goes well. Peace.
ReplyDeleteI love you girlie
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