I had a therapy appointment yesterday with a new therapist- I really like her and we connected. However, I had totally forgotten how difficult therapy was. Other than yesterday, I hadn't been in therapy since early December. It's been almost a month. By the end of the appointment- I almost started crying, I could feel myself start to disconnect...her voice was starting to turn into a background noise and I was starting to stare into space. I was "feeling"...again. I'm not good at that. She got a lot of things out of me- about my family, past and current relationship issues.
I was wondering if maybe therapy just isn't good for me anymore- maybe I should just continue doing what I'm doing. I've been doing alright and I don't want to rock the boat. However, my roommate brought up the fact that if I was completely fine then I wouldn't have been shaken up by my therapy session. I'm going to go back- at her recommendation 2x a week. On that note- she does seem pretty damn awesome. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get some good work done with her.
There's just so many things in the last few days that have really been agitating me- interpersonal things.
Life's hard- I've forgotten that detail in the last few weeks of being in wonderland or where-ever I've been.
xoxo -Lisa
I was wondering if maybe therapy just isn't good for me anymore- maybe I should just continue doing what I'm doing. I've been doing alright and I don't want to rock the boat. However, my roommate brought up the fact that if I was completely fine then I wouldn't have been shaken up by my therapy session. I'm going to go back- at her recommendation 2x a week. On that note- she does seem pretty damn awesome. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get some good work done with her.
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| There's a time to let go and a time to hold on. |
There's just so many things in the last few days that have really been agitating me- interpersonal things.
- I'm still really pissed that I have yet to find a job. I've never had such a hard time job searching- EVER. I guess I've always just been lucky...until now. Well, I've also never had a 6 month gap in my resume. :-/
- My eating disorder is doing "okay"- I'm not doing great- I could be doing better but I could be doing worse- I guess that's a way to look at it.
- I just have had a bad ED few days lately.
- I'm also just irked majorly about certain relationships in my life. I feel very unimportant right now. I emailed my two TK therapists a while ago and one still hasn't responded ( my primary ) and my family therapist responded ( just today- 2 weeks later ) with a very generic response. I was so close to her while I was there and it just hurts...
- I feel as if I'm worth more than how some people in my life are treating me. It's ironic because some of the people I want to treat me well are the ones putting me on the backburner.
Life's hard- I've forgotten that detail in the last few weeks of being in wonderland or where-ever I've been.
xoxo -Lisa
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