So, it's February 14th again. That wonderful day of the year where fuck buddies lovers buy condoms and pregnancy tests roses for each other and think about how great their sex love has been while knowing each other.
Is the topic of sex ever boring? Nah. So, l'm going to blab about it. Sex can be fun but can also be very hard on me. No pun intended. Sex has it's positives- it can make you feel desired, wanted, needed...an affirmation I know many people, including me, desire. Most importantly for me, sex has been about makingthe idiot sleeping with me my partner happy. Not going to lie- there's a deep satisfaction that comes in (no pun intended either- keep laughing ) knowing that you've satisfied someone.
That being said- I'm a girl. I've faked orgasms. I have probably fakedall most of my "orgasms" in my almost 9 years of being sexually active. If you are an ex "I've gotten into Lisa's pants" person...- and did not know this about me- I'm sorry you had to find out via internet. Please don't call me and yell at me. I only did it for your ego. Get over yourself. K. Onto the more important stuff.
Reasons I have had sex- in order of most common to least common or never rarely.
vodka loving atmosphere in the air. No really, I'm not drunk. I'm just awake at 2 AM writing about this elusive act called fucking the shit out of each other making love. (or I just might make really sarcastic awkward comments when I start to feel awkward...)
Now that we've covered all the reasons that sex has FAILED me in the past- let's make a list of all the reasons I have sex now ( haha...let's be realistic-...currently- I am currently laying in my bed ...with my cats and... no warm gushy wonderfully naked male specimen so we'll go with future- and the only male I feel like having sex with in my life is...well...that got awkward fast-let's just keep going with future ) and the reasons why sex is NOT a massive mindfuck and can actually HELP my mood and...life...or whatever.
fuck you get to know you better, let's have lots and lots of sex have deep conversations ...and moonlit dinners and walks on the beach? wtf. huh.
Happy Valentine's Day y'all. I get to see my cats, roommates and...the most important person in my whole freaking life- my legal drug dealer ( my psychiatrist ).Other than that- I think I'm going to go about my lovely day laying in bed watching 2 Broke Girls with my cats. Speaking of being broke- I superglued my shoe back together today. It was epic. Sigh- my life is sad.
oh and also- use condoms, take your birth control, go buy that Plan B ahead of time or have the awkward "what will happen if I get preggo" talk.
xoxo -Lisa
Is the topic of sex ever boring? Nah. So, l'm going to blab about it. Sex can be fun but can also be very hard on me. No pun intended. Sex has it's positives- it can make you feel desired, wanted, needed...an affirmation I know many people, including me, desire. Most importantly for me, sex has been about making
That being said- I'm a girl. I've faked orgasms. I have probably faked
Sex is a weird thing- it can either open up old wounds, make new ones or potentially heal wounds.
- I feel obligated.
- I feel guilty
- I don't know any other way to make said partner happy anymore
- I am scared he/she/it ( jk about the it ) will leave me
- I want to keep he/she/it around
- I am drunk and feel all the reasons above
- I am drunk and just...drunk
- I am bored
- I am horny
- I want to
Now that we've covered all the reasons that sex has FAILED me in the past- let's make a list of all the reasons I have sex now ( haha...let's be realistic-...currently- I am currently laying in my bed ...with my cats and... no warm gushy wonderfully naked male specimen so we'll go with future- and the only male I feel like having sex with in my life is...well...that got awkward fast-let's just keep going with future ) and the reasons why sex is NOT a massive mindfuck and can actually HELP my mood and...life...or whatever.
- I want to
- I am bored and I want to
- I am horny and I want to
- I am drunk and I want to
- uhm...I want to.
- OH AND IT FEELS GOOD. yup. I'm done faking it- it being orgasms- so if whoever you are- wind up
fuckingmaking dear sweet love to me and I .. am silently bored- then spice up your game or let me make my to-do list in my head while you orgasm. That's fine too- I have to make that list at some point... and if I sound like that lady who was behind me in line at the grocery store the other day ( don't ask- I swear to whatever is holy she was orgasming behind me- yes- i felt very awkward. )- then you're doing good job- keep doing what you're doing.
Happy Valentine's Day y'all. I get to see my cats, roommates and...the most important person in my whole freaking life- my legal drug dealer ( my psychiatrist ).Other than that- I think I'm going to go about my lovely day laying in bed watching 2 Broke Girls with my cats. Speaking of being broke- I superglued my shoe back together today. It was epic. Sigh- my life is sad.
oh and also- use condoms, take your birth control, go buy that Plan B ahead of time or have the awkward "what will happen if I get preggo" talk.
xoxo -Lisa
Gotta love your honesty and sense of humor! I can relate to a lot of what you wrote here. The good news is now that I'm with a steady boyfriend I'm starting to feel a lot better about sex... and during it too. But I still have that problem about feeling obligated; sometimes I'm just not feeling like I want to be touched, but I don't know how to say no. Once I was over his apartment and I was feeling exxxtremely (heh) depressed and I said no and he took it personally. He has said before that if I don't want to do it there's no problem, but I perceive there to be a problem so I just go with it. Sigh. But anyway, if you're really into good sex, there's no one better than you to do it! :) Plus! Vibrators are unlikely to get you pregnant or give you STDs. And the focus is always on your enjoyment! They are pretty damn good partners if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteI hope to hear from you soon! I would love for you to visit my blog again.
Be well and happy Valentine's Day,
NOS
LOVE THIS.
ReplyDeleteso honest.
And of course, I have also faked orgasms, but I made the decision (before I met my current boyfriend) that I wasn't gonna do that anymore.
So I don't, and I am really happy. It's so much better for me to let him know when he really pleases me because we can both be genuinely happy.
but yea... thanks for the post. :)
<3 Haley