"Bear in mind you have a life to live. There is an incredible loss. There is a profound grief. And there is, in the end, after a long time and more work than you ever thought possible, a time when it gets easier." -Marya Hornbacher

Wednesday, April 6, 2011



So- about Denver. Want for me to admit it??? I'm scared shitless to be here. This is really a different experience for me than anything I've ever known. I have to make a life for me out here. I finally have gotten a job and that will finally bring me structure- which I need very badly right now. But, that doesn't mean I'm not scared shitless.

I still have yet to feel totally comfortable with any therapist. I don't ever want a relationship like I had with Nancy- too painful- way too painful. but yet...I need something like I had with Amy...although that one was slightly painful to leave as well but I think it was a normal pain.

So where have I been in the last few months? treatment... in the past two months- i've spent time in Atlanta, a little over a month at Rosewood Capri in Arizona- go treatment- then I was back in Atlanta for 4 days and then I moved to Denver. 3 states in a little over a month. wtf. no wonder I'm exhausted
xoxo -Lisa

5 comments:

  1. Question: Are your cats with you in Denver? I know the love between a person and her pets is not the same as romantic love, but I think it's the best kind of love out there. I love my puppy more than anything in this world.

    I think you'll do great in Denver. I feel like there's an initial obstacle-- getting settled-- but I think once you get past this hurdle you'll flourish. I believe in you!

    Wishing you well,
    NOS

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  2. Wow, no wonder you're exhausted. Settling in any new place is going to be hard...but oh my gosh, being in this new place could be the best thing for you! Give it time lovely, things will fit in place.
    xxx

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  3. Congrats on the job! I would be scared shitless too, it's normal. You'll adjust and get all settled in. xo

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  4. Hope you are getting settled and all. I didn't realize I had to follow your new blog to get your updates. Well I am following now so expect more comments from me. Best wishes in your new town.

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  5. Hooray about the job! Fresh starts are the best.

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"Feeling are ephemeral, so is life. We’re here one moment and we’re gone the next. If you keep living trying to protect yourself, nothing is every going to touch you."