A...( my t ) I needed you last night but I had no way of getting ahold of you. Nancy, I needed you last night but you kicked me out. Amy, I needed you but I am no longer in your care...
I needed someone last night. I thank Marie for talking to me. I really do. I needed someone. If this were a few months ago - I would have called Nancy/Amy screaming, bawling and throwing a fit.
I can't believe last night happened. I can't believe that my 2 best friends in the world... one ended up in the ER and the other set her boundaries with me. I'm not sure if she thinks setting these boundaries will force me to get better but right now I'm just upset, I understand why she's doing what she's doing but I'm angry.
Borderline is ruining my life... borderline and ED. RUINS IT.
I woke up this morning- forgot to take my meds. binged and purged and then decided that my life sucks so I quit my job too. Now I'm jobless, bloated and feeling shitty. One thing I have yet to do is cut...who knows if I will. I don't know right now if I have the strength to not... I don't know. A doesn't care if I do or not and that almost bothers me but yet that also can keep me from doing it because it seems so stupid, but yet it's not.
fuck this.
xoxo -Lisa
I needed someone last night. I thank Marie for talking to me. I really do. I needed someone. If this were a few months ago - I would have called Nancy/Amy screaming, bawling and throwing a fit.
I can't believe last night happened. I can't believe that my 2 best friends in the world... one ended up in the ER and the other set her boundaries with me. I'm not sure if she thinks setting these boundaries will force me to get better but right now I'm just upset, I understand why she's doing what she's doing but I'm angry.
Borderline is ruining my life... borderline and ED. RUINS IT.
I woke up this morning- forgot to take my meds. binged and purged and then decided that my life sucks so I quit my job too. Now I'm jobless, bloated and feeling shitty. One thing I have yet to do is cut...who knows if I will. I don't know right now if I have the strength to not... I don't know. A doesn't care if I do or not and that almost bothers me but yet that also can keep me from doing it because it seems so stupid, but yet it's not.
fuck this.
xoxo -Lisa
I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a bad patch right now. I will not crap on and say it will get better, although I hope it will. I have a friend who sets boundaries with me too and I get so pissed at her sometimes because it really hurts. I hope your day/night gets better. Thinking of you!
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Sarah
Oh puppy, I'm so sorry. You're right-- mental illness does ruin lives. But I've been told that we can get them back.
ReplyDeleteHang on. I KNOW you can do this.
Wishing you well,
NOS
I LOVE YOU!!!
ReplyDeletedon't quit work! :(
ReplyDeleteTry not to cut...please.
ReplyDeleteMan, that is the crappiest day ever. I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to say. Hang in there. Take your meds!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your struggles. I was just wondering if you've ever heard of or read "Loud in the House of Myself" by Stacy Pershall? She talks about how she went through BPD, an eating disorder, and other issues before overcoming. It's relatively new, but maybe check it out sometime... always good to be able to relate to someone!
ReplyDeleteAnd I hope you don't mind me asking, but have you ever heard of Mercy Ministries? http://www.mercyministries.com
ReplyDelete