...I binged this morning- purged when I walked into work. I had an hour lunch break, spent the first 30 minutes praying that I wouldn't b/p...spend the next like ... 8 minutes shoving half of panera's pasteries into my mouth and the last 20 minutes of my break purging in the bathroom... oh and then I went and ate some pizza that our boss brought in and of course ended up in the bathroom at work. OH RIGHT and then I came home and continued to cut up my left shoulder with my ever so dandy razor. I hate my life. WHY CAN'T I GET MY SHIT TOGETHER?!
I finally got a full time job- yes, it's not the best ever- it's not exactly what I've wanted - I wanted a secretarial position. The place that took me out to eat to talk about my ED is still bugging me to work with them and I just have no idea if I can or not- so I took this other job. I'm full time but part of me wants to ask if I can be part time, but I have nothing else to do with my time anyway... but it's just tiring working and OH YEAH WORKING IS SUPPOSED TO KEEP ME FROM BINGING AND PURGING. RIGHT. RIGHT. RIGHT. FUCK ME.
xoxo -Lisa
I finally got a full time job- yes, it's not the best ever- it's not exactly what I've wanted - I wanted a secretarial position. The place that took me out to eat to talk about my ED is still bugging me to work with them and I just have no idea if I can or not- so I took this other job. I'm full time but part of me wants to ask if I can be part time, but I have nothing else to do with my time anyway... but it's just tiring working and OH YEAH WORKING IS SUPPOSED TO KEEP ME FROM BINGING AND PURGING. RIGHT. RIGHT. RIGHT. FUCK ME.
xoxo -Lisa
*hugs* Hang in there, Lisa - you're strong. You can beat this. I believe in you. Congrats on the full-time job. Even if it's not an ideal position (neither is mine at the moment, unfortunately), it's a job, right? I've actually had less hours at work lately which kinda sucks. Oh well. It's good to be able to read your blog again - somehow I had an old link that didn't work. Be well and hope to catch up with you sometime soon perhaps! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had such a rough day. I am thinking of you and rooting for you. I sincerely believe that you can beat this awful disease. It's going to happen.
ReplyDeleteWishing you well,
NOS
Lisa, just keep believing in yourself! Remember, you are beautiful! :) You can do this. *hug*
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard, but just take it moment by moment if you can. It really sucks when life just seems too hard sometimes. Hang in there and hopefully it will settle down a bit soon. Congrats on the job, even if it's not exactly what you want.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Sarah
You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for right now.
ReplyDeleteI know you can get through this. Just forgive yourself. <3
I don't have an ED but I do understand pain and while I know there's nothing I can say that would make a difference, I can tell you that I care. Peace.
ReplyDeleteHey Lisa, sorry to hear you've had not so good of a time with this :(
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know that I've changed my blog name and url but it's still me, the same Jane (Fashion my castle to stand). (If you click on my name you'll be directed to the new url) <3