excuse me dad? wtf. actually the exact question was "Is Amy helping you eat?" WTF. YES, but in a roundabout way. We almost never talk about food and weight in our sessions- every once in a while- YES but that's not it. In my video, I mentioned how the symptoms have to be gone to get down to the core- the exact opposite of physical illness and since my dad is an ER doc- i can understand his confusion but...still- I've explained to him so many times- so has Nancy, Dr. Moore, ACE, Amy...etc
WHEN IS HE GOING TO GET IT? I know he'll never get it completely. People that aren't in this place- since it IS irrational and quite confusing won't understand to a degree why we do this to ourselves but I'm starting to wonder if some people who get told over and over by professionals a simple explanations of it...that still don't get it-- ie- my family- if they're like mentally just retarded... maybe that's where I get my retardedness from... UGH
But- I spent hours making an amazing scrapbook yesterday. okay by hours- EIGHT hah. I love it but while making it- during random times-- I was just bawling.
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Jamie- for understanding the attachment and not judging and
is going through a similar situation. we'll get through it.
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i'm scared, anxious and okay- i am mostly just scared of what's to come. Nancy coming back. It's going to bring about a whole world of emotions that I am going to have to deal with that I... I just don't want to. Leaving Amy is going to be really fucking hard because I am just not getting with it. She kept telling me yesterday- Lisa it will even out, we'll figure something out- it will be okay...I don't adapt well- it takes me a while and I'm finally starting to function alright w/out Nancy. well define alright... but still and now I have to adapt to a different situation AGAIN- right as I'm getting used to this. Nancy is supposed to call me this week. I'm just a whole ball of different emotions about it. I am tempted to just let it go to voicemail. Yes, I know- I was just complaining about how much I want her to come back and I DO! I'm just...really scared. GOD - I LOVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES INVOLVING THERAPISTS. I am sooooooo glad I don't have a male therapist- that would be a goddamn fucking mess...
this is going to be a rough few weeks....
....wish me luck...
xoxo -Lisa
xoxo -Lisa
Ugh PARENTS! My favorite came from my mother, while I was on a weight gain meal plan. "For someone with anorexia, you sure do eat a lot!" Cool mom. Really smooth.
ReplyDeleteGood luck I have confidence in you.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with everything, Lisa! Hope all goes well.
ReplyDeleteGotta love those parental comments.
I don't know about the dad thing...maybe it's just that men (the who dont suffer from an ED) don't get it. Sometimes I wonder if people just say stuff to make conversation and because they don't know what else to say.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the therapist situation. I know the feeling -- believe me, I do. I am just way over it all right at this moment (although that may change tonight) as far as my attachment stuff. God, it has to be the most painful part of this for me. HATE it.
Do you see Amy and Nancy? And I'm not sure if I asked before, but are you still doing DBT and if so, how did it work out? I want to do DBT but I've heard bad things about it. Can you email me and tell me how it worked for you? ghostgirlanonymous@gmail.com.
*hugs*
Addy
how did you find a therapist that you liked? i'm searching for one right now..
ReplyDelete