My heart is broken. [ again ]

One of my best friends is leaving. Eating disorders break relationships. Right down to the core,

I'm happy for her, she's going to a wonderful place. She's going where she's going to come back being able to live a better life. No one deserves to live and suffer  in such a way. There's nothing she's losing from leaving, she's got an amazing foundation to come back to but that doesn't change the fact that this reminds me that she is sick. I am sick. Eating disorders are more than just shitty/bad habits that get in the way of our daily living. It's something that tears apart my heart. Mine and others.

I can't stand to see this continuing to happen to amazing people. My heart broke when another friend got sent to the hospital. My heart broke everyday I was at ACE. My heart is tearing right down the middle right now. It's another scar. Eating disorders just don't scar those afflicted with it, it scars those close to the eating disordered. It burns apart things are aren't usually meant to be burned.

Life is full of burn marks and scars. But no one can live without running into some sort of road blocks..."road blocks" --> food--> eating disorders in our case. burn and scar anything close to them.

It's not just me that gets frustrated every-time I use symptoms. I affect those close to me. Eating disorders tear everyone around them apart. It's shit. Pure and simple. Not even bad habits. It's an illness and a shitty shitty illness.

xoxo
-Lisa