FUCK EATING DISORDERS. FUCK MY FRANTIC EFFORTS TO PROTECT MYSELF... and I honestly say that with a smile. I get asked quite a lot
. Are you okay? I am okay.
I am always okay. I will make it through the day, i might be miserable, tired and fed up ( haha, irony ) the entire day but
I AM OKAY. I can suck it up and make it until it's time to pass out and then
I'll wake up and do it all over again.
xoxo -Lisa
aw babe, i feel the exact same way :( perhaps you are 'ok' but i want us to be BETTER. hang in there xoxo
ReplyDeleteanother day successfully down <3
ReplyDeletei know that you're always ok, but i want you to be happy (aka more than ok, at the very least good)
ReplyDeletewe're always here for you lisa.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the invite!
ReplyDeleteI used to say fine...but every time I said it I remember an acronym a good friend told me when I said it...Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional...yup...That usually is how I felt when I said fine.. Now, depending who it is, I try to answer for how I feel(frustrated, angry, sad, annoyed...) I don't know one for OK but there should be...just being OK sucks, someday I will say awesome or fantastic! And you will too!
Hang in there Lisa!
Thank you so much for inviting me to read your blog. I am going to spend some time going through it right now, but I wanted to say that I understand how scary it is for your t to go on leave. Last year, my t had back surgery and was out for 5 MONTHS. It was awful, but we did get to talk on the phone. I haven't read if that's a possibility for you or not, but I'll send some good energy your way that the time passes quickly.
ReplyDeleteI know that place. The okay place. For me it's kind of... I have no better word to describe it than "blah." But at least it's better than the OhGodThisIsAbsolutelyAwfulGetMeOutOfHere place, rights?
ReplyDeleteWishing you well,
NOS
*Right, not rights.
ReplyDeleteBeing tired, miserable, exhausted and unable to think of ANYTHING other then what you don't want to think about, all the time, every day, gets so tiring when you can't see the end of the road, can't see the sunrise coming over the horizon.
ReplyDeleteSo for me, to keep myself going, I paint my own sunrise, the way I want it, and I KNOW that no matter how long it takes, I will hang on to see that sunrise, even if I can't physically see it yet, my minds eye knows.
It's there, and it's going to be beautiful when I finally arrive.
Until then, I can live with "fine" if I need to.
Sheesh. I always feel either so enlightened or so mind raped after i read your blog. Your points are sharp, your thoughts deep, the issues you raise thought consuming.
ReplyDeleteBut i must say here, just reading through your comments has done the same thing for me. You're surrounded by a bunch of amazing beautiful people who love you and love life. And some of us are just stuck somewhere in the middle like you, but I hope we're all on the up and up. Also, ever notice that the most freakin intelligent and sensitive people have EDs, personality disorders, anxiety, depression, etc? Man, i have, and despite how effed up people may think we are, I'd rather hang out with and talk to us any day :)
love you lis.
Cort