Anxiety...

...I've been feeling better but my anxiety has really been causing me to isolate or really just be constantly twiddling my thumbs. I didn't fall asleep until 530 AM. I wasn't tired until then- even after taking my meds. I was just wide awake. I am looking forward to my session with Nancy today way more than I am comfortable with. I've been counting down the hours since yesterday morning...I do not like that. For some reason- I feel like I have a lot of important things to talk about today. I have a feeling though- I'll walk in, sit down and stare at her for a while before my usual word vomit starts to happen...I am not sure how Nancy even starts to understand my directionless all over the place babbling. She somehow helps me compartmentalize and put things together when initially I'm just aimlessly talking and feeling lost. Sigh, thinking about how much she helps me is making me pissed that she's going to be gone for a while.

I weighed myself this morning- now I feel like a cow. Time for self talk. it's really hard to not plan on restricting today but I'm not going to. I'm going to continue to eat meals, snacks and everything I have but yogurt. I really think I am having a lactose issue. I haven't had real milk in years and I used to have yogurt at most once a week. I was eating it daily and I think causing me the horrible digestive issues I've had lately.

Positivity today? Not sure. I'm in an isolating mood again but I don't feel like I'm depressed...but I can't really express or figure out what emotion is in my head right now. Being in my head is not an easy thing...


xoxo -Lisa