at least now I know it's not...the situations I end up in are all pathetically train wreckish like but that a lot of it has to do with me. self fulfilling prophecy... i know that seems odd that that would make me feel better...but it does. It is reassuring to me that I am not the one picking bad people and bad situations and it's due to a feeling that can be changed and fixed. I won't be in bad situations with interpersonal relationships my entire life....even though I realized something about myself I really don't like...it is a bit relieving to know that this can be changed and worked on. And I also know that it's NOT just me that has these issues. It's a textbook bpd symptom and I'm around people that help me fix this.
I hate how insecure I really am. I seek validation when I don't need to. When I've been given no reason to feel insecure...I still do. I hit the god damn motherload. Make a note- talk to AMY and NANCY about this. fml. I'm insecure. Something I've always wanted to not be but this could the exact reasons I put up all my walls. DUH. fucking A. I'm finding out that I really am not who I thought I was...but...I'm learning... and even though I'm not liking a lot of the issues...at least now I know what to be working on in therapy. trust. insecurity...trust...issues... probably due to insecurities....xoxo -Lisa
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